Capt. Matt Davis is pictured with his wife Jolena and children Kyla, Rogan and Kaylin during a trip to St. Louisville in December.
Balancing Professional and Personal Life
By Capt. Matt Davis, Cleveland Medical Recruiting Center
Feb. 23, 2015
Charged with one of the Army’s most significant missions - providing the strength of the Army - recruiting is demanding. The requirements placed on recruiters are unmatched by any other position I have experienced.
Although much of the work is predictable to an extent, there are often unforeseen factors requiring immediate attention and changes to family plans - late night events, weekend conferences, and last minute deadline demands.
Successful recruiters must be professional, passionate, and willing to sacrifice personal time to accomplish the mission. It is a serious commitment.
However, recruiters must maintain a healthy balance between their professional and personal lives. Doing this also requires commitment.
Being deployed and drill sergeant duty require much sacrifice. The difference is predictability. During a deployment, Soldiers know how long they will be gone. Drill sergeants know their training schedules months in advance, allowing them to plan family activities.
As we all know, the recruiting mission never ends, it just regenerates. And while passion for the Army is necessary in any MOS, in recruiting, an individual’s passion and willingness to go above and beyond dictates success or failure.
Passion is also imperative in maintaining a healthy family unit. The high divorce rate proves staying married and raising children isn’t easy. Adding the recruiter lifestyle into the equation makes family life more difficult.
I’ve been married 12 of my 15 years in the Army. Through 12-month deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan and a three-year stint as a drill sergeant - which demanded an enormous amount of family sacrifice - my wife, Jolena, and our three children have been by my side through thick and thin.
Although it hasn’t always been easy, we found a healthy way to balance the unique requirements of Army and family life. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to develop a high level of resiliency and be proactive and deliberate in dealing with the challenges of being married in USAREC.
Over the years my wife and I have identified some key principles to our success.
By Capt. Matt Davis, Cleveland Medical Recruiting Center
Feb. 23, 2015
Charged with one of the Army’s most significant missions - providing the strength of the Army - recruiting is demanding. The requirements placed on recruiters are unmatched by any other position I have experienced.
Although much of the work is predictable to an extent, there are often unforeseen factors requiring immediate attention and changes to family plans - late night events, weekend conferences, and last minute deadline demands.
Successful recruiters must be professional, passionate, and willing to sacrifice personal time to accomplish the mission. It is a serious commitment.
However, recruiters must maintain a healthy balance between their professional and personal lives. Doing this also requires commitment.
Being deployed and drill sergeant duty require much sacrifice. The difference is predictability. During a deployment, Soldiers know how long they will be gone. Drill sergeants know their training schedules months in advance, allowing them to plan family activities.
As we all know, the recruiting mission never ends, it just regenerates. And while passion for the Army is necessary in any MOS, in recruiting, an individual’s passion and willingness to go above and beyond dictates success or failure.
Passion is also imperative in maintaining a healthy family unit. The high divorce rate proves staying married and raising children isn’t easy. Adding the recruiter lifestyle into the equation makes family life more difficult.
I’ve been married 12 of my 15 years in the Army. Through 12-month deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan and a three-year stint as a drill sergeant - which demanded an enormous amount of family sacrifice - my wife, Jolena, and our three children have been by my side through thick and thin.
Although it hasn’t always been easy, we found a healthy way to balance the unique requirements of Army and family life. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to develop a high level of resiliency and be proactive and deliberate in dealing with the challenges of being married in USAREC.
Over the years my wife and I have identified some key principles to our success.
Capt. Matt Davis and his son Rogan wear pirates masks.
Quality versus quantity
You won’t be there for every birthday, anniversary or holiday. The sooner you and your family come to terms with that, the better. However, make the times you are with your family more meaningful. I strive to always make the most of my time with the family. I would rather be home less frequently and be the best husband and father I can, than be at home all the time on the couch in my own world.
I make it a point to take my wife on dates. Recently, we met for lunch and had a picnic in the park. It was a great 30 minute escape for both of us. I also periodically take my daughters on dates. I understand the importance a father plays in a daughter’s life. It’s my mission to demonstrate what a gentleman should be.
Team approach
My wife and I have attended the Army spouse’s training that develops strategies for a successful deployment, which includes handling finances and maintaining healthy communication. These techniques help reduce stress and improve efficiency all the time, not just during significant periods of separation.
My first deployment was very demanding and forced us to modify much of our routine on the fly. We have found it better to maintain specific tasks and responsibilities within the marriage, such as paying bills and updating the budget. This insures very little interruption to the family when I am away.
These techniques help to minimize the effect the Army requirements have on the family and build a significant bond between you and your spouse.
Use Available Resources
One of the best resources available to military couples is the Strong Bonds retreats. My wife and I have attended four retreats in seven years. They have definitely strengthened our marriage. The communication training is top quality. They help take care of the kids while you and your spouse work on your relationship. It removes you from your normal surroundings and inherent white noise that often gets in the way of true progress. I highly recommend this resource.
I encourage everyone to identify and implement whatever techniques you can to improve and balance your professional and personal lives. Maintaining your family is just as important, and requires just as much intentional focus, as the USAREC mission. Developing the balance allows me to perform better at work with a clearer and more focused mind.
You won’t be there for every birthday, anniversary or holiday. The sooner you and your family come to terms with that, the better. However, make the times you are with your family more meaningful. I strive to always make the most of my time with the family. I would rather be home less frequently and be the best husband and father I can, than be at home all the time on the couch in my own world.
I make it a point to take my wife on dates. Recently, we met for lunch and had a picnic in the park. It was a great 30 minute escape for both of us. I also periodically take my daughters on dates. I understand the importance a father plays in a daughter’s life. It’s my mission to demonstrate what a gentleman should be.
Team approach
My wife and I have attended the Army spouse’s training that develops strategies for a successful deployment, which includes handling finances and maintaining healthy communication. These techniques help reduce stress and improve efficiency all the time, not just during significant periods of separation.
My first deployment was very demanding and forced us to modify much of our routine on the fly. We have found it better to maintain specific tasks and responsibilities within the marriage, such as paying bills and updating the budget. This insures very little interruption to the family when I am away.
These techniques help to minimize the effect the Army requirements have on the family and build a significant bond between you and your spouse.
Use Available Resources
One of the best resources available to military couples is the Strong Bonds retreats. My wife and I have attended four retreats in seven years. They have definitely strengthened our marriage. The communication training is top quality. They help take care of the kids while you and your spouse work on your relationship. It removes you from your normal surroundings and inherent white noise that often gets in the way of true progress. I highly recommend this resource.
I encourage everyone to identify and implement whatever techniques you can to improve and balance your professional and personal lives. Maintaining your family is just as important, and requires just as much intentional focus, as the USAREC mission. Developing the balance allows me to perform better at work with a clearer and more focused mind.